What we return to again and again says something about us - it is helpful information. It reveals our inner hum, the background noise to our lives. I think of this as something like a compass, something of an interior magnetic north that reveals a glimpse of the loves we are tending.

Waves of disordered desire and thoughts which are negative and untrue can come at us at any time. We must learn to step around them, to let them turn our mind to the truth as we wait for them to pass.

…there can be a severe period of confusion between leaving the old belief, and the new belief feeling normal. You may often cling on to the reassurances despite and against feelings of disconcertion, and the feeling that “it’s not working”.

Edwin Friedman in his leadership classic A Failure of Nerve repeatedly asserts that our priority must be for adventure over safety. Not recklessness, or risk for risk's sake, but in our chronically anxious culture* we must deliberately embrace adventure if we are to grow.

A flame calls to mind a lively fire, a strong determined heat. A flame is established, it has some momentum, it has fuel, it is purposeful and ready to dance.

Sitting with people who have reached a point in their relationship where they have reached out for help, there is one dynamic almost always at play… “What was I thinking when I married this person?”

In the middle of the night minds can distort issues out of all proportion. They feel like a whale of doom dragging us down into the deep.

Invulnerability or wide-eyed optimism is a beautiful, even necessary trait in the young. Such denial of reality is not such a beautiful quality as people get older.

The 4 and 40 minute rules, one gets you going the other keeps you going.

Is there a more universal challenge than procrastination?

“Writing is very difficult but rewriting is comparatively easy, and rather fun.”

Kia Ora and welcome!