Kindle an ember into a flame
In one of the bibles famous pieces of mentoring advice Paul, master apprentice of Jesus and writer of the greatest portion of the New Testament, reminds his mentee Timothy: Fan into flame the gifts within you*.
A flame calls to mind a lively fire, a strong determined heat. A flame is established, it has some momentum, it has fuel, it is purposeful and ready to dance.
A flame might keenly express the life and excitement of our internal disposition.
A flame might seem like a mile from where we are or where we have been lately.
We may need to kindle the little spark first
Before we are able to fan our gifts into flame we may first need to kindle the little spark, to blow on the little ember, to cocoon, care for, and nurture the heat we have got.
At times I have wished for a life like the high and exciting one lived by the exemplary examples of the Christian faith. We admire heroes in any field or arena for their mastery. During my Pentecostal upbringing I heard and read of saints who described such a nearness to God, such closeness with him. My own experience, comparatively so low and grasping, led me to conclude that nearness to God was for other special people who just had something I didn’t.
For me this led to a resolution of: “oh well”. I still thought with both my head and my heart that conforming my life to the example of Jesus was the best way to live. But concluded this would be a humble faithful walk, rather than something of the realm of a personal ‘knowing’ that comes with relationship.
But is life really all or nothing? Are there really those in the in-crowd and those who are left out?
We are quick to be black and white
We are so quick to sort people into in-crowd and out-crowd, particularly if we have experience of rejection.
Our perception can very easily become our experience of reality. If we are already sitting in a puddle of rejection then it only takes a few drops of confirmation to conclude the mood we’ve been dwelling in does actually represent reality. That we are rejected.
Collecting the little sparks each day
Change in my journey of faith came when I began to collect the little spark at the start of the day. A mentor of mine suggested I ask God for one thing each day and then I would look for it. One idea, one passage from the bible, one impression or strong thought, one rich memory out of the blue, one kind interaction or spontaneous prayer.
As soon as I noticed it I would hold on to it and deliberately dwell on it, kindling it, reminding myself of it. With fits and starts this idea became a regular habit. The little embers kindled and collected, dwelled upon and remembered became not an instant wildfire but a spark, a little flame.
Some images, metaphors or lines from the bible animated my imagination for months, some for only a day or two. But confidence grew that I was having an actual relationship with God. With time I even realised that through these collected sparks God was speaking about my life, my circumstances; encouraging me. I even had a little flame to show for it.
Post Script:
The theologically proficient reader will recognise the above as making use of a metaphor and principle from Scripture. It is not intended as a chapter and verse exposition.
*2 Timothy 1:6
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Sources of ideas and stories are acknowledged when used significantly unchanged. Underlying mental health concepts are from the Living Wisdom approach to Pastoral Counselling.